henna

I think is this the most beautiful and intricate henna artwork I have ever seen. My cousin went to this persons wedding and took these pictures. PHENOMENAL.

I really like this extremely random picture of my knees and "Lush" bag...actually I accidentally took this while trying to figure out exactly where the flash was on my camera phone. Turns out it was on black and white. (Side note, I dont know the lingo for "on black and white..bare with me). That makes me excited.

brun

At a coffee shop on Sunday night. I saw a friend (we'll call him Neil) I hadn't seen for a while, and he had moved to the same city I had been living in for a couple of months. He was there with a group of his friends, mutual friends and acquaintances. He gave me a hug when I saw him, asked me how I was, and then proceeded to introduce me to his friends around the table. Upon being introduced to one of Neil's male friends (lets call him Sam), Sam turned to Neil, looked him square in the eyes and said, "Oh... I've heard about you."

In my head this meant, "Oh... This is that girl you were telling me about...I get what you mean, she seems [insert negative comment here thats not equivalent to whore, slut etc.]"Sam said this all the while clutching my hand in a full handshake. Now, I've known Neil for quite sometime, but I wouldn't by any means say that we're "best buds". We're the type friends that know each other because of mutual friends, but have enough mutual friends that we see each other often enough. Oh, he is also very good friends with my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend...take that as you like. But, why he would have any reason to speak of me, and under what I think is negative light ..literally makes me dumbfounded.

When I sat with my good friend at the other end of the table, and when she asked me if everything was ok...blatant lie, "yeah! Good..I'm good..." It's such a small useless, pidily thing of a lie..but it was there. Was it such a big deal to admit that I was feeling like crap at the idea of being gossiped about? Also, how stupid is it to even care what Neil thinks? Technically I don't even know the guy that well..apart from a few uneventful parties and random sporting events.

I think more than anything is the idea that I was telling myself that I didn't care. I should have confronted him in that situation if it meant that much to me. Man, it does feel better to write it out though...

white..?

let this be my stream of consciousness...my thoughts are completely convoluted and abstract, yet I feel they warrant a "post" as I think they eventually will come together and make sense. To me, anyway.

I am finding that I am lying, again. To myself. I started lying to my parents at such a young age, and despite verbally being told it was wrong, I don't really believe my parents really got the idea across that it would eventually hurt someone, or myself. But unlike the lies I told my parents about school work, staying up late, boys etc. these "new" lies are festering and hard to control.

My dad ironically always told me that to be a liar you had to be smart, because you had to constantly keep your story straight. So subconsciously I always believed he was giving me some deep rooted complement. But the lies I told my parents were the "did you do your homework?" "yes" and the "did you get your marks back from school?" "no" lies, where I had not done my homework and had gotten marks back from school. The lies I tell now are much more complex. They are small little white lies I tell myself, that I perpetually start believing. So far it has affected a few money related issues (thinking I have more money in my bank account than I really do), and also, some school/study issues (thinking I have more time to study). My mum always said I would raise the stakes if I continued "down the path" of dishonesty.

My biggest fear is that they will just keep duplicating in size and be thoroughly uncontrollable . I don't want to start lying to the friends, co-workers, professors etc. I believe people can truly pick up on when their being lied to; what with the urge to glance to the left and shake uncontrollably....joking.

orange

Ok, so I am a fan of the arranged marriage. I would never have one, but I am a fan. Done under the right circumstances (sans money, power, and overall petty gain) I think that arranged marriages are actually the most successful because they are not done because you love the person you are going to marry infinitely and evermore, but because you love and trust your parents to do the right thing by you. The only problem is, most arranged marriages (especially in India) are done for the money, power and petty gain.

I just returned from a wedding, an Indian wedding actually. Not arranged marriage, but I will get to that. Beautiful colors and wine were the themes I think. I was officially a make-shift bridesmaid, called out only because I was planning on not attending in the first place. I did my part however..painted palms with black henna paste, hung flowers from the gazebo, etc.

The wedding was under the gazebo (called a mantup in Hindi). The bride dressed in orange, the groom in classic gold. The 45 min ceremony consisted of all the norms of Hindu wedding. Eating sweet yogurt (yogurt and honey) to show how "sweet" you will be to your new wife/husband, stepping on a stone which acts as a metaphor for climbing a mountain for the one you love, and while tied together, throwing herbs and puffed rice into a fire while walking around it.

The ceremony was definitely centered around the fact that love is about giving unconditionally. That when you give with the expectation of something in return, you do not deserve to have your significant other return that love you. Beautiful. The funny thing is, is that the Hindu ceremony is technically designed for arranged marriage. An arranged marriage where you do not know the other person before your parents decide to get you "hitched".

This couple that were getting married had known each other for 1 and a half years so they don't count as arranged, although their parents introduced them. All of their vows were true about their unconditional love and respect for each other because they were given the opportunity to know each other. However, I know Sheila (the bride), because she loves her parents (infact she stated, "I will be happy knowing my parents are happy, thats just the way things work in our family."), she will work hard to make this marriage last, regardless of the amount of time she and Will have spent together.