brun

At a coffee shop on Sunday night. I saw a friend (we'll call him Neil) I hadn't seen for a while, and he had moved to the same city I had been living in for a couple of months. He was there with a group of his friends, mutual friends and acquaintances. He gave me a hug when I saw him, asked me how I was, and then proceeded to introduce me to his friends around the table. Upon being introduced to one of Neil's male friends (lets call him Sam), Sam turned to Neil, looked him square in the eyes and said, "Oh... I've heard about you."

In my head this meant, "Oh... This is that girl you were telling me about...I get what you mean, she seems [insert negative comment here thats not equivalent to whore, slut etc.]"Sam said this all the while clutching my hand in a full handshake. Now, I've known Neil for quite sometime, but I wouldn't by any means say that we're "best buds". We're the type friends that know each other because of mutual friends, but have enough mutual friends that we see each other often enough. Oh, he is also very good friends with my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend...take that as you like. But, why he would have any reason to speak of me, and under what I think is negative light ..literally makes me dumbfounded.

When I sat with my good friend at the other end of the table, and when she asked me if everything was ok...blatant lie, "yeah! Good..I'm good..." It's such a small useless, pidily thing of a lie..but it was there. Was it such a big deal to admit that I was feeling like crap at the idea of being gossiped about? Also, how stupid is it to even care what Neil thinks? Technically I don't even know the guy that well..apart from a few uneventful parties and random sporting events.

I think more than anything is the idea that I was telling myself that I didn't care. I should have confronted him in that situation if it meant that much to me. Man, it does feel better to write it out though...